Tuesday.
Wake up with the most peaceful and loving dream. I think self-care Monday has a very nice impact in my sleep. Will keep on doing it for sure. Still have ‘The Whole Of The Moon’ playing in my head as I’m waking up.
Meditate, open the curtains and… oh, it’s raining again. London weather back to business. But it doesn’t put me in a bad mood. I think I’m still in lovely dreamland. Actually, it feels cosy inside. Don’t mind switching the bedside light on.
Hygge vibes on today.
Feels peaceful this morning.
Go back to autumn-wear: black jeans and black turtleneck sweater. That’s me during winter time, black and red. I’m wearing red nails and my beloved red lippy. Nothing like bold colours on a gloomy Tuesday.
Quickly prepare breakfast and get on with work as I’m wolfing the porridge down. Sudden weather changes have that impact on me. I’m turning back into a bear. We’ve been hibernating for a while anyway so hunger and drowsiness were the steps to follow. Quite understandable.
Go to the forbidden (by whom?) drawer and have another chocolate square. Hmmm…
Check assignments and Clever Student sends me a set of research questions for his chosen topic. Read them and the level of curiosity of Clever Student towards Franco is impressive:
Why did he die? / Tell me about his childhood and teenage years / How did he get on with his mates?
I mean. Great insights if the work is successfully conducted. I’m pretty curious.
Look at the calendar and realise that today is our 40th day of quarantine. Tomorrow we’ll have passed the Jesus Christ-in-the-desert bar. Clever Student’s set of questions also gives me some resemblance to The New Testament.
Maybe it’s time to buy a Bible on Amazon… Hm.
Before I need to finish all the books I have on my bedside table. Let’s revisit the thought after that.
Mom calls Sis and me on a group chat. It’s been a while the three of us don’t have a group conversation. Feels like home. They talk about recipes –I listen. Sis complains about the squid in ink she wanted to cook the other day and didn’t come out good. She had to throw everything away. Disappointment vibes in the air. Time and energy for nothing. There is a debate on ‘which ingredient’s fault was’ for 20 minutes. Mom says it couldn’t be the onion. Basically, there were three ingredients: onion, squid ink and wine. I suggest it might be the squid ink. We reach an agreement.
It was the squid ink.
Mom and hubby start lunch. Sis and I need to eat too so say bye and tell her we won’t call her if she asks again if we’ll call her tomorrow for her birthday.
Feel like pasta… haven’t had it for ages. Pasta aglio, oglio e pepperoncino with parmesan cheese (or poor pasta). Yummy. And some wine.
Pasta is good. Drowsiness not so good when my plan for the evening was writing. And this rain and cold… uh… I could dive in the duvet so easily. Too easily. I feel like sleeping on the keyboard. Manage to keep my eyes open and get the post done. Chill.
Jay asks me when I’m planning to upload the first audio week on the website… dunno. Maybe by the end of the week. I’m still not sure how it’s done… oh wait. Maybe I do. Oh shit, I do!
Shake the drowsiness off and upload the files. Takes some time but it is finally done. First week of the diaries is available to listen (here, by the way).
I needed someone to remind me that I could actually do it on my own and it didn’t take that much. I feel like I’ve given birth –creatively speaking, obviously.
Thanks Jay, good push.
Have a quick listen and sounds good. Now it’s a question of keeping up with the roll. Doesn’t sound as challenging anymore. Been enlightened today.
Today’s live meditation so I prepare myself to dive in my breathing. Our instructor is focusing today on life’s purpose. Uh, didn’t see that coming. But it’s good. What could be more powerful than acknowledging one’s life’s purpose?
I work on the pre-meditation exercises and after that we dive in the subconscious realms.
What comes out of it… is also unexpected. Not shocking, though. It’s been there since I was a child but adulthood made sure to repress it very well.
I feel shaken. So obvious and so hidden.
Fucking hell. I start crying.
It’s a good cry. No sadness nor bitterness. A release and ‘thank you for finally listening to me after all these years’ sort of cry. Some others share the same feeling. I think these sessions are such a game-changer.
Go slow with the rest of my evening and let myself go. Follow what my system needs.
One thing is for sure, quarantine is lighting up many hidden shadows. That must be good for sure. I’m finally getting to know who I am to the smallest detail.