When Sabrina saved me
It’s funny how irrelevant things can be so crucial sometimes. For example the other day, while I was doing the dishes after dinner, the main theme of a movie popped up in my playlist – it was the main theme of Sabrina, by John Williams. Suddenly, my heart rate sped up and I started to feel the emotion as a knot in my stomach. The same feeling you get when one of your senses reminds of a very vivid memory, such as the perfume my mom used to wear when I was a child, or the smell of the cooking onions in the pan.
In that same way, music can take me to vivid memories and make me feel the same I used feel back when I used to listen to certain songs –I got to understand that this happens because I repeat the song endlessly if it inspires me– I find fascinating how deep can be the impact of music in me.
Flashback to my moment washing the dishes, the main theme of this movie made me travel back to the summer of 2014, when I was still scared of London. It was July, and even though I was on holidays, I still had 9 days to spend on my own in the Big Smoke, before going back home in sunny Spain.
Lots of free time for a puppy scared of crossing the limits of her own comfort area.
Funny enough, I had already been living in London for six months, had changed of job twice and changed of flat another two…and still, thinking of getting lost in London gave me the chills.
What the hell was going on with me? I wasn’t able to recognise the self-assured woman I used to be. She just wasn’t there anymore, and that feeling deeply frustrated me. Now I know I was suffering a massive culture shock which made me react this certain way. However, back in the day all I had was an incredible anxiety and many (too many) mood swings.
Alone, and on holidays, one of the first nights I decided to watch Sabrina, as movies always cheer me up. I chose the newest, starred by Julia Ormond and Harrison Ford because it used to be one of my favourites when as a kid.
If you haven’t seen neither the original by Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Boggart or this one, let me tell you part of the plot:
Sabrina, the daughter of a chauffeur who works for a very wealthy family in New York has a crush on David, the youngest of two brothers. In order to dissuade her from her love obsession, her father – with the help of the wealthy family contacts – sends her to Paris for a year. In here she finds herself thanks to her long walks along the Seine, and after a year she is back in New York with a completely different look.
There is more, but this post is not about the movie, so if you want, you can check the movie out online. The reason why I want to stop here is because the part of the movie that touched me was her experience in Paris. Somehow, I saw myself in that lost Sabrina in Paris, who struggled to fit in a big city… and bingo, John Williams’ main theme was playing in the background.
The following morning, I decided to do like her. I woke up and after a short breakfast I rushed out to start my route to get to know London. I still remember the smell of fresh grass from the gardens near the London Eye, and the feeling of the summer heat while I walked across the Embankment bridge, towards Covent Garden; or the fresh breeze from the Thames while I walked along the Southbank towards the Tate gallery. Honestly, I don’t know how many kilometres I walked that summer but all I can say is that they were many. And Sabrina’s main theme making me company.
I got so lucky those nine days that London gave me blue skies, sun and hot weather until the day I got on the plane. And maybe I didn’t find myself completely, but I eventually found my strength back, at least the amount I needed to lose the fear of London. It is then, when Sabrina saved me.
Now, even though I’m already used to the endless frenetic rhythm of the carousel that is living here, when I feel I need strength I walk that route along the Thames, my favourite area of the city. And if the weather is not that good, I would play Sabrina’s theme to take me back to the moment I got my inner strength back. How curious is the mind.